Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I wrote a letter...

Christiana's hair is finally getting long enough to do some styling. After a post about protective styling and fairy knots on Jarmelia's website, I knew some kind of protective styling would help prevent the tangles and breakage in Christiana's hair. I used my homemade Shea Aloe and took random little sections of Ana's hair and twisted them together. I didn't need anything to secure the ends and I didn't need to twist each strand first. I love that! Most of the little twists will stay for over a week. I just add moisture and coconut oil every day or so and occasionally freshen the twists that come out. We also moved Ana out of the pack-n-play and into Tali's crib and that has helped protect her hair and keep the style looking nice longer. I'm pretty sure she was rubbing her head against the mesh siding.

By the way, I love Jarmelia's website. She has great tips and has really blessed me by sharing her trade secrets. :) She is the one who directed me to Essential Wholesale where I can buy unscented products for super cheap. She did a post about how some of the specialty online hair products are all using the same cheap bases. Some friends had given me a box of hair supplies for Amanda when she first came home but they were so heavily scented I rarely used them. It's awesome to find same products unscented.

I also ordered silk lined hats from Curly Zebra for Amanda and Ana. I first learned about the hats last year on Happy Girl Hair but I thought the were too expensive. Instead I ordered cheap Lycra swim caps to wear under their regular hats. This year I decided my sanity was worth the price and having one less thing to fuss with was important. :) Curly Zebra was great and custom made a hat for Christiana when the first one I ordered covered her eyes. Upon request, they also made Ana's hat without the very large, scratchy label on the inside. Amanda complained about it as soon as she put on the hat and I had to take it out with a seam ripper.

However, these adorable little hats led to a discouraging conversation with a sales clerk in a local thrift shop. It began with a pleasant comment about Amanda and Ana's hats. When I showed her that they were satin-lined, she seemed to understand why that was important for my little girls. It turns out she has a friend with little kids that have kinky and curly hair. This is rare in our area. I'm even a little concerned about leaving Ana's hair in twists when we go out because I'm not sure people understand why keeping it in twists is important. However, I became very distressed as the woman began to describe how her friend "hated" her child's "nappy" hair and how the boy got the "really nice" curls and how their hair was just "awful" and she spent "hours brushing" it.

I tried to keep things positive by cutting her off and saying that I loved my little girls curls and thought they were just beautiful and it was so fun that Ana's hair stayed in neat coils and that maybe she just didn't know how to care for it and that we enjoyed our precious hair time. The woman seemed to need to have the last word and it was something along the lines of, "Oh, no, their hair was just awful." It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it now.

After the fact, my first response should have been something like, "I sure hope she didn't saying anything so negative in front of her children because that could really impact their self-esteem and self-image. I sure hope nobody says those kinds of hurtful things to my girls." Hopefully a comment like that would derail the conversation and prevent further negative comments.

I did find an email for the shop online and sent the owner a note. I may have been talking to the owner but I didn't assume that. I encouraged her to watch Chris Rock's documentary called Good Hair* and directed her to Happy Girl Hair's blog. Hopefully, she does some investigating and welcomes a new perspective.

*Good Hair is very eye-opening and informative, however, it also contains some very racy parts. I do not recommend watching it with your husband or teen boys. Yeah, that was awkward. Trust me!


Salma @ Chasing Rainbow said...

We have a lot of hair drama at home as well. The words "good hair" and "bad hair" are often used by the girls.

I guess no matter what you said, the lady would have had a "better" answer, lol.

I didn't watch all of Chris' documentary...it's on our list though.

jodilee0123 said...

Loved the documentary! Love my daughters' natural hair! :0) I watched it by myself...haha!