Sunday, January 9, 2011

Deep Thoughts.. or Not

Amanda has been asking to look at her birth mom book quite often since I first showed it to her. One day, she seemed rather upset at the thought of being in Texas while we were still in Minnesota. "No, I can't got to Texas. I need to stay home with my mom and dad."

Then we got some pictures from her birth mom's family. It was so great to see them. Amanda was confused about the time frame. She thought the pictures were from the same time as the pictures in her birth mom book. I tried to explain that they were recent pictures and they lived in Texas and maybe someday we could go visit them. Again she said, "I can't go to Texas 'cause I'd miss my mom and dad."

Then she mentioned it again while we were making something on the stove. I thought about how she is really processing through this deep stuff and how even though she has no idea where Texas is, the thought of being separated from Mike and I was unsettling for her. I thought about how it was interesting and understandable that being separated from us seems much worst to her than being separated from her birth mom. I thought about how those feelings may change over time. I thought about how we are likely to have many more deep discussions about loss, separation and adoption...

And then she starting talking about elephants and Shea butter.

I guess I have a few more years before there will be any really deep discussions. :)


The Henrys said...

Wow! Those are such deep thoughts for a little girl. I love how openly you address her concerns and how open you are about her birth mom. She is blessed to have you as her mom:)

snekcip said...

I know when the time comes, you and Mike will do a wonderful job of addressing Amanda's adoption journey to her. She is a very smart, beautiful and special little girl, and I wish all the best for her.