Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's not what you think...

I had expected that on occasion people who see my children and me together might not automatically think, "Adoption" but rather that I've had multiple partners. I did not expect that I would make the mistake in the opposite direction.

At the beach today, there was a white man with a boy who looked Asian and a girl who looked Africa American. The kids looked like they were middle school age so I waited until they were out in the water before asking the man about them. We had been told that it is often hard on adopted kids to always be getting attention because they look so different from their parents.

So when they were out in the water I asked, "Are those your kids?"

"Yes," he answered some-what sheepishly.

"So, what's your story?" I asked trying to be polite and not bluntly ask if they were adopted and what adoptive father doesn't love sharing the story of how his kids came into his life?

"My story is that I've had lots of girlfriends and I've been obsessed with black women since I was thirteen," was his reply.

"So, they're not adopted?" I asked puzzled.

"Nope," and he walked off to be with his kids.

I had not idea how to respond. I was not prepared for that little bit of reality.

He came back over a little while later because he thought his daughter would like to see Christiana who was on my back. The kids were very nice and open. The girl asked about our girls' adoptions and how long we have had them. The boy shared how he had older siblings with kids and that he was an uncle four times over. Just a reminder to me that families are built all kinds of ways and sometimes it just better to follow the old rule, "Don't talk to strangers." :)


Nan said...

Dear Katie, Thank you for share this story, I have hard time to answer about my daughter too,
She is mix Italian -Thai but step father American as you know, so every time people will ask some question that make me don't know how to answer.

Take care.

jodilee0123 said...

Maybe that's his cover story. I know I have a few comebacks for when I don't feel like talking about my children's stories. Hubby is going to like this one! :0) haha!

Adoptive Momma said...

That's funny. We don't very often get a chance to turn the tables. As you said, we cannot make presumptions because families are formed in all ways!

rachel said...

Oh, this is funny!

snekcip said...

Love it!! My husband and I have been raising a little one since birth (she is now 3) we have legal custody. The GK's are 6, 20mos, 1yr old and a month old!! I love the expressions on ppl's face when we are out w/ALL the grandbabiess including "our baby" and they ask "are those ALL your grandbabies" I point to the GK's and say "these are", but this one is OUR baby! Love the look on their faces *favors that of a deer caught in the headlights*! It's priceless!!!

Agreed....families are made of several different scenarios!