Saturday, June 26, 2010

Familiarity

Besides the obvious differences between adopting a child and giving birth to a child, I've been trying notice if there is anything else. It has occurred to me lately that when I look into Talitha's face, it looks familiar. It's like I've known her for a really long time. Amanda and Christiana are very beautiful but they are a mystery and have faces that are very new to me. Perhaps it because Tali's eyes remind me of my nephew, her smile reminds me of my grandpa, and her chubby cheeks remind me of Tony when he was a baby. Or it's just because I see her so often since she never wants to sleep.

9 comments:

jodilee0123 said...

This is where I feel so blessed to have close relationships with our children's birthmoms. I feel I know them better because I see somebody in them--their first moms. Then I see some of me and some of my hubby. It's amazing. I can only imagine how it must feel to want that familiarity as an adoptee. I hope I can help my children find their peace and feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it. I hope we all have a sufficient amount of sleep someday so we can face life with a clear mind! :0)

Sara said...

That's so true! I'm a lurker who has never met you in real life, but I also have a biological son and adopted daughter. When I look at my daughter, I see her birth relatives - mostly her parents and aunties. I feel fortunate to know them. I see them in a lot of her personality traits, too. My poor biological son... he has so many of the personality traits that I dislike in myself. I've come to realize that this is another benefit of adoption. This newness gives me an added patience level as I'm learning about her with no biological strings attached.

Kristi said...

i think its bc you see her so often bc she never wants to sleep!! :)

Tina Fisher said...

I defer to Kristi! I also think the nurture will take over and you'll see so much more of you & Mike!

You're an amazing woman!

Jamie said...

Having only adopted children that look nothing like my husband or me, you'd think it would be a constant reminder that I didn't birth them. Instead, I have to continually remind myself that they're adopted. My greatest prayer is for them to know Jesus, because the bond we will have as Sisters in Christ will be far greater than even a biological bond. Proverbs 18:24

e&e said...

Thanks for sharing the interesting thought, Katie. Funny, since I have spent so little time with Ana, and have never met Tali, Amanda looks most familiar to me. The other two I look at as a mystery.

By other two, I mean the other two girls, though those weird teenage boys of yours are a mystery to me too. I only remember them as lego-playing, rowdy boys hanging around Grammy's house.

Miss you!
elisa

Living with Three Boys of Our Own said...

Size wise, I look at my Holden a little bit different than my other boys... i.e. he's so big now (almost 2) and used to fit in my belly. Since I don't have that point of reference with the older boys, its a newer thought to me. Other than that, it's amazing how there really isn't a difference!

Nicole Marie said...

As a mom to a bio and adopted son, there is *something* about that feeling...of knowing for years vs not. I can't explain it in words, but there is a feeling & we have a good relationship with Cam's bio mom.

La Familia Garcia said...

I've never adopted, but you did a great job describing what it must be like! They are beautiful! You know they were created by God as a perfect fit for your family!