Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thoughts on Bonding

Often parents ask themselves when considering adoption, "Will I love this child as much as I love/would love a biological child?"

Love is a choice, a commitment, a decision. Once you choose to welcome another child into your home, to provide for them, to teach them, to train them, to support them, you begin to make choices that make those feelings of love grow. I love my husband and am closely bonded to him and we don't share any genes. I love him because I have chosen to love him and be his help meet. I know he needs me in a special way and I'm willing to be there for him.

It's the same with Amanda. When she looked at us with those big brown eyes and seemed to say, "Are you going to take care of me?"- nothing else mattered. She was our baby and our responsibility. There was no doubt that she would be well-loved.

Adoptive nursing, babywearing, elimination communication, and cloth diapering have been practices that have helped with bonding, since the amount of time you spend with a person is directly related to the strength of your bond. I can hardly describe what it was like the first time Amanda nursed and then drifted peacefully off to sleep.

I am forgetting one very important point. My ability to love Amanda, my husband, and my boys is directly related to my relationship with God. Knowing that I am loved and care for makes me free to share that love with those around me. Choosing to love them and devote myself to their caring and upbring will not go unrewarded because I have done it in devotion to Jesus and he will be the one to say, "Well, done my good and faithful servant."

You know you're in love when the highlight of your day is feeding your baby rice puffs.

1 comment:

momto9 said...

this is so's an unwavering decision. You're one blessed mama!!